squeak squeak squeak

hey yall, guess who?! :D
haha i have pretty well extinguished my blog the past, erm, millenium?
but i just got inspired by the lovely chelsea-rebecca and her kooky blog! 
so i decided to let the creative juices fuhh-loww again, it actually feels quite nice, THERAPEUTIC even!


i just had multiple stare-downs with a not-so-friendly little critter that decided to scamper under my tv set :S. I still don't fully understand how humans (a.k.a me) can be afraid of an animal an 100th of my size which can never harm me - unless it decides to bite and give me rabies - yess i just unintentionally alluded to the office, the best show evurr {rabies is a very serious disease which affects 4 Americans every year! Raise your hand if you know someone with rabies} 

It's quite humourous actually, every couple minutes the little mouse will stick it's head from under the console, as if it's trying to stealthily get past me on the couch. I look back, and the staring contest begins. So far, I'm 3 for 3!


In other news, my senior year is slowly but rapidly coming to a close - only 7 more weeks of my high school career! It's a weird feeling. I go through stages - right now I just can't wait for it to be over so I won't have to think about homework and I can git on down to Australia! But then other times I'm like: "I need to savour every last moment! Why is it ending so fast?!" It's been great having my college-boy brother back home from his first year at universitayy! We've surprisingly got along well, haven't gotten into any arguments as of yet! (it's only been 3 days...) But it's awesome having the fam back together once again :)

God's been teaching me a lot lately too, just how I need to draw my strength from Him and not base my worth on how other's view me, but on God alone - or else I become an insecure and emotional wreck --aaannd jerry's back again, giving me the stink eye - hehe a little fake remote throw put him back in the dark.

So hopefully I'll keep this writing and posting thing up, maybe you'll be hearing from me down unda!


ciaoo for noww,


meg.

convert

hey yall, it's been a mighty long time!

i've recently discovered the not-so-secret TUMBLR and am quite hooked on it, like phonics ;)

http://meaganshantz.tumblr.com/

check it out! all 11 of you! haha... who am I kidding

peace out,

meg.

CROIKY!

....i got some news.... :)


GUESS WHERE I AM GOING THIS SUMMER?!!


(..where?)


AUSTRALIA, THE LAND DOWN UNDER! 


Melbourne, to be exact. 


So I applied to this church campus internship in Melbourne for six weeks this summer to work with their campus ministry and share my faith and grow in leadership, it sounds like an amazing opportunity. Not to mention that Australia has been my dream destination for EVER! Well, since I saw "The Boys are Back" movie which wasn't even that great, but the cinematography and scenic views won me over! I applied on a whim and did not fathom that this dream could actually become reality. First, I had to convince the parentals - it took some time, but they eventually warmed up to the idea (my mom getting over the fact that I might "go there and fall in love and never come home" according to her haha like THAT'S gonna happen). We figured out that the flight is paid for by airmiles, and I can take exams a week early to get there on time! Ahh this is so exciting, God is good. 


However, I haven't officially confirmed yet. Mom and Dad still need to "discuss things and find out more details" before I sign the dotted lines. What more is there that needs to be known? It's Australia! hahaa.


What a great way to start off the new year. Until I get to witness this beautiful and unique country, I guess a couple pictures will suffice :)

sydney, absolutely gorgeous

quiet time spot? i think so!

this is where I'll mainly be - in Melbourne

but in my free time maybe i'll give surfing a spin !

or enjoy a meal i've never tried - i hear it tastes like chicken! ...

not to mention the Great Barrier Reef - a.k.a setting of Finding Nemo :) duuudeee

cheers! I mean.. G'day mate!

tis the holiday season

it's that time of year again!

get ready to pack on the layers, turn up the heaters, and cuddle up for warmth as winter is indeed on it's merry way. And with winter comes the best holiday of all... 

MY BIRTHDAY!!!

haha just kidding - christmas! :) 

Every year I increasingly feel the christmas cheer start to..wear off.. *sigh* BUT, this year I'm determined to beat the effects of aging and go backwards so I can be a kid one more time!

REMEDY #1: Drink some hot cocoa with friends and go on a scenic horse sleigh ride in downtown Oakville!

Check. On Saturday, five good friends and I went to a quaint cafe for sarsar's birthday lunch, and enjoyed delicious hot chocolate from a nearby bakery. We then happened to see a sign for free horse wagon rides along downtown oakville - we just couldn't resist! It doesn't matter that the ride is intended for children under age 5, and who cares that it's freezing outside and I'm not wearing a coat?! We went up those stairs, got pictures with Santa, and belted out christmas carols the whole ride without a shred of dignity lost. I thought for sure we scared the one little girl and her mother who were on the ride with us, but at the end she came over and gave us hugs, wishing us a merry christmas with her one-toothed smile. 

*note the little girl on right with cute bear hat haha

squeezing between sarah and ally for warmth, i thought it would
 be good to wear a light jean jacket on the coldest day ever 

never too old for you santa :P

It was definitely an unforgettable afternoon! I forgot what it feels like to be a kid and have no cares in the world, I couldn't stop smiling :D.

Anyway, I encourage yall to go back in time and do the things you'd say you're "too old" to do. Why not bake cookies, go christmas caroling, or take a picture with Ol' Saint Nick? Some good old-fashioned fun! And maybe, just maybe, you'll be able to find that christmas cheer from your chilhood. :)


have a ho-ho- happy holiday!

meg.

the attack

Do you ever have days when you feel all these emotions but can't explain why? You could have had an amazing day yesterday, but as soon as the sun begins to rise signalling a new day, your awoken to feeling like nothing in the world is going right. It doesn't make any sense! Cursed hormones take over and we're left defenseless, without a rational bone in our bodies as we resort to believing what we 'feel' as the truth.


Well I've had the emotional blues the past couple days, it's sad to say. Please don't pity me or think I'm writing a pathetic sob story - I felt the need to expose these lies that we so easily fall into because we need to fight against Satan's ploys he uses on us! 


Lately I've been struggling with feeling unaccepted and even unlovable - i fail so many times and try to find security in what I see, like my image or appearance or acceptance from others. I tire myself out and am never filled, which makes me feel more insecure and angry at myself for letting my feelings get the best of me, when I could have just surrendered everything to God in the first place. It's this spiral that slowly deteriorates my confidence and trust and security - exactly where Satan wants me. And this is the place where he can get me to do his deeds because I'm deceived into thinking I can find joy and fulfillment in it. I become nearsighted and blind and forget all of God's perfect promises and gracious blessings, and lose hope. 


But the amazing thing is, even though I can give up on myself, God never will. It's still extremely hard for me to grasp that He truly loves me despite all the ways I can run to other idols. I can't imagine loving someone who was unfaithful to me and who told me he loved me, then went to another girl. And it's sad to think that we do that to God! But He's not like us, and His love, forgiveness, compassion, and grace is perfect. Just like a perfectly made cupcake or the perfection of newly fallen snow, God is perfect. Instead of being prideful and critical of our many mistakes, He has compassion on us and sees our strengths, sees the potential instead of the problems. 


I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this, but I guess this is what I'm learning right now. I haven't written in so long because I haven't known what to write about, but I guess it's a blessing in disguise that God put me through these seemingly terrible emotions.


Without feeling low, I wouldn't see who I am without God, and how much I truly need Him. Like silver, He refines us. If He didn't care about us, He wouldn't bother going through the process of putting us through tests and challenges. Clearly, He must love me a lot if He is taking me on this constant roller coaster called life - God, don't you know I'm afraid of heights? :P


Just earlier today I was feeling shameful, ugly, judged, alone, hypocritical, and unloved. Now I feel cared for, content, inspired, grateful, and loved. And these feelings will go away if I don't start holding on to God's promises! 


I encourage you beautiful ladies (and guys if you're reading) to examine how you're feeling right now. Take out the headphones, close your facebook and turn off the tv, and really think: What am I believing in right now? How do I view myself? What am I striving to find security in? What lies am I mistaking for truth? The only way to find the truth is to look into God's words because He is the only perfectly truthful thing we have. (HINT: If you ever feel that you're not attractive or smart or enough, you're wrong! Don't believe it sista!) haha. true story.


Anyways, I hope you have a splendid rest of your week and are able to see yourself how God sees you - amazing, super cool, and worth every ounce of His time and effort. :)


meg.


P.S. I did indeed get my license and have been cruising around town quite frequently, it's pure bliss. :D


"The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made...The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down...He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them." - psalm 145:8-9, 13-14, 19

i believe in miracles

^^that is the title of a sick song by Norwegian Recycling, for all you MJ fans out there. thanks for showing it to me evelyn! you can listen to it here.
In other news... guess what?! 
You're looking at a chorus girl in the musical!! 
At first I was wishing that I got a bigger part, but I'm just glad I can be a part of it and I'm happy that I won't have as big of a commitment but just as many ounces of fun. ;) The first meeting/read-through with the cast is tomorrow, it's becoming real!


When I came home from school today, my mom says: "Oh, you got a letter in the mail from your brother". Odd, he's never sent me mail before. I cut up a pear, turned on some chill tunes, and sat at my kitchen table ready to open it. I haven't talked to this long-lost brother of mine for a couple of weeks now and with the business of life haven't even had time to miss him. As soon as I started reading it, I heard his voice in my head and all the emotions of him leaving came back. I remembered Coss, my amazing big brother. I started tearing up after the first sentence! He was so incredibly encouraging and honest and he opened up to me a side of him I've never been able to understand. All the things a girl needs to hear from her brother, he told me. I felt so loved and not forgotten, but also had an ache in my heart because I realized once again that we're apart! And I'm going to have to get used to seeing him twice a month instead of every day. But at least I have confidence now that our relationship will never disintegrate just because we live in different cities - he will always be my big brother, no matter how old and independent and "mature" we become!


I love you Nathan, you are better than any brother I could ever hope for, and I apologize for not showing you how much I appreciate you!

We went to Nate's graduation ceremony before thanksgiving.
Mom attempted to edit the picture nicely but made it blue instead haha... 

Other than that lovely surprise, I have my G2 road test tomorrow.. eek. I'm excited/slightly anxious/trying to trust that God's in control! Maybe He doesn't want me to drive by myself yet or maybe He does, I just gotta be content with whatever He decides. However, it would make life a lot easier... :)

Wow, it's been an eventful couple of weeks! there's not usually this much stuff going on! But yeah. it's way past my 'bedtime' so I better hit the hay.
enjoy the rest of this beautiful autumn week!


meg.

"But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in your hands."

- Psalm 31:14-15

quick update

hey folks. so i have 2 minutes to write this because I'm about to go practise my parking, yeah be scared. - I'LL WRITE FAST.

Soooo.... my audition was yesterday! I was nervous before going, but once I entered the theatre, all my fears were gone and I just LOVED being on that stage! I've never sang alone in front of people before, and I realized that the acoustics in theatres make it easier to sing somehow, it's like echo-ey or something.

anyway, Dad's yelling at me to come. going to boston in 2 hours! haven't packed yet :S

okay i better go.. ha BYE!