who wants pearls? :)

I've been struggling with a certain aspect of my life for a while, and realized that there was one thing I need: surrender. Okay, it's about boys. Kind of. More about the future in general. I just turned 19 this month, am nearly halfway through university and the future seems to be more and more uncertain. Growing up, I never had to question what I was doing or how I was going to make a living - but now I wonder what plan God has for the not-so-far future: where He wants me to live, what He wants me to be doing, how I will make a living, what man He has destined for me (if any). It's pretty exciting but scary stuff - this is real life we're talking about! My heart screams: "I don't want to mess this up!", while my soul shouts back: "TRUST GOD, it'll be okay!". :P

I found this daily hope blurb about surrender which I found helpful in defining surrender:

Surrender: Let Go and Let God Work, By: Rick Warren "Surrender yourself to the Lord, and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:7 (GWT) Surrendering your life means: Following God's lead without knowing where he's sending you; Waiting for God's timing without knowing when it will come; Expecting a miracle without knowing how God will provide; Trusting God's purpose without understanding the circumstances. You know you're surrendered to God when you rely on God to work things out instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda, and control the situation. You let go and let God work. You don't have to always be in charge. Instead of trying harder, you trust more. You know you haven't fully surrendered something to God when you dwell on the situation to the point of being stressed, anxious, afraid, and without hope whenever you think about it. The truth is, a lot of times, when I am controlling a situation and not letting go, nothing changes. God seems to allow the struggle to persist until I come to him humbly and fully surrender it - getting on my knees, opening up about all of my thoughts, fears, feelings, and giving him the reins. It's funny how fast things change and He works things out when I let go. Makes me wonder why I didn't go to Him earlier. But this kind of surrender is something I need to continue on a daily basis, because Satan will not let us escape that easily - we need to continually entrust our hopes, dreams and problems with God - like putting our money in a safe bank so that it's not lying around where a thief will steal it. Reminds me of what Jesus said according to John: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10 Do you really believe that Jesus is with you? And that he wants to give you an amazing life, in every aspect? Because he does!! :) When I think about the fact that God created my inmost thoughts and desires, knows the hearts of every person on the planet, and knows the future - I'm wondering why I don't trust Him to know the perfect fit for my life - the right guy, job, school, decision, etc. How could I think that I, with my extremely limited, emotionally-swayed perspective, know best? "I know you seem to be leading me this way, but I know God that I won't like this!"  "This brother? Really? God, not him!"  "Am I ever going to find someone or am I going to have to watch all my friends start dating and getting married while I'm forever alone?" "I really want to do this God, but it conflicts with what you teach me. I want it so badly! It can't be that bad..."

"You tell me to follow Jesus and to have no part of the world. You tell me that if I put you first, you will bless me much more and work everything out. But you don't understand what I'm going through! I want to stay in my comfort zone and enjoy being like everyone else in the world, I'm not strong enough."

All of these thoughts I can entertain. And I'm sure I'm not alone. But ultimately, these thoughts are telling God that he is a liar. That I have greater knowledge and ability than my Creator. And all my thoughts are focused on me, instead of God's incredible strength and wisdom. Not being content with the countless ways my Lord is blessing me, but focusing on the few things I don't have. God loves us so much and wants the absolute best for us! 

To conclude, here is a perfect illustration of what it means to surrender: a beautiful story every girl needs to read :)

The Pearl Necklace

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.

On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess--the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver,she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dollar store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny.

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dollar store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

What are you hanging on to?

Let's spend time meditating on how incredible our Lord is and how He has shown us His love and guidance over the years. Use these findings to help build your faith to surrender and trust in God's plan for the things you are currently struggling with - whether it be a family problem, uncertainty of what to do school or career-wise, a relationship, insecurities about your self-worth, or fears about the future in general. Jesus wants to take your heavy burdens from you and make you light and joyful. :)

Your fellow sister,

meg.

it's morphing time!

Guys. I HAVE to share this book I started reading.

Do you ever feel frustrated with yourself? Wanting to do so many things, to change in a great way, to overcome a challenge in your life, but feeling so...powerless? I feel that a lot. I want to be the best I can be, to live up to the standard Jesus set in the Bible. But instead of feeling inspired and empowered, I feel discouraged and burdened. I put my Bible on the shelf so I don't have to be reminded of all that I am not.

This is not what God planned when He sent us the Bible, which is really His love letter to us! It helps us to connect to the One who loves us the most, and gives us hope and faith in this unstable and ruthless world. Jesus came to set us free, but Satan does not want that to happen - so he twists things to make us go back to a chained life of guilt, fear, and ineffectiveness.

I came across this book in my house, called:  "The Life You've Always Wanted" by John Ortberg. The book is all about personal transformation. Jesus did not come to force us to deny ourselves, but to offer us a new way to live, as transformed creations. No longer do we have to be selfish, hateful, jealous, or depressed. He came to give us a piece of God that can live in us - the Holy Spirit - which brings peace, joy, love, patience, faithfulness, self-control, and more. This plus the promise of living in paradise forever, being saved from eternal pain and suffering! Doesn't that sound like the better path? A no-brainer, right?

Clearly, it's harder than it sounds, or else we would all be triumphant transformed individuals. 

One reason: there are powerful, evil forces spending their entire lives trying to distract, confuse, and destroy us. 

For this reason, this book is so helpful because it teaches concrete disciplines we can put in practice daily to achieve the potential God destined us for, to live fulfilling lives, and ultimately to leave this world victorious and be with Him forever.

I've only read the first 3 chapters, but have already gained a new vision and hope, and wish the same inspiration for you. :)

In his continual grace,

Meg

P.S. Are you reading any good books lately? Please share! :)

skyfall

JOY OF THE DAY: I am grateful for the first real snowfall of the season! Everything is so beautiful and white, it makes me want to stay in my PJs all day and read a book, marveling at how lovely God is!

The backyard. Mom and Dad are proud of their newly painted shed, I would love to turn it into a cute clubhouse :)

Have a great wintery day!

Meg

there's more to life than this

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone ! :)

So this holiday season, I was looking for a blog to read about a Christian university student who talks about her life, faith, health, adventures and dreams. I find that many people have blogs, tumblrs, pinterest, but that majority of the content is about material things: about having the coolest hairstyle, the latest clothes, the prettiest nails, and the most vintage and perfected pictures. It takes us out of our 'average' life and into this false dream world where everything and everyone is flawless and beautiful. Sounds to me like a recipe for insecurity! We're all trying so hard to appear exciting and put together, even in the church, yet being consumed in this always brings me further from Jesus and the contentment and purpose that comes from fleeing the world's desires. 

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." - Matthew 6:19-21

I'm guilty of treasuring things of this world - stylish clothes, the latest technology, facebook, investing my time, energy and money into Meagan and making her the most happy and beautiful. Doesn't that make me my own god? Didn't I die to myself when I made Jesus Lord? 

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." - Colossians 3:1-4

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2

I've been humbled lately to see my own sin and weaknesses, the way I believe Satan's angelic deceptiveness and can glorify him instead of the one who died for me. The Spirit tells us when we're following the devil; It's when we do something hoping to find fulfillment but instead feel an emptiness and an unquenchable craving for more: whether it be indulging in food, the internet, shopping, tv, sleep, lust, relationships, schoolwork, alchohol, negativity, gossip, you name it.

Jesus came to provide us a way out of this vicious circle. He came to give us LIFE! I realized that the reason I get stuck in worldly things is because I didn't truly believe in God's promises for me. I didn't really believe He loved me unconditionally, or that He had a better plan to give me joy, peace, and a future. I believed my emotions, and did not want to surrender my life to God because I was convinced I knew the best way. Once I surrendered everything, God has opened the floodgates and showed me so many ways that He loves me, is here for me, and has an amazing plan! This has built my faith so much - it's a wonderful freeing feeling to believe that God has a vision for my life and sees beyond my weaknesses - I just have to let go and trust Him! 

Anyways, it's funny how the Spirit works. I was planning on writing about the crepes I made this morning :P 

But the point I was trying to make originally is that, since I couldn't find the blog I was looking for - I figured, why not make one myself? I don't want to be consumed in talking about myself or be on my computer 24/7, but let's see how God uses this. I will write about daily thoughts, joys, and struggles. I also love cooking and eating healthy, especially after the never-ending Christmas feasts, I want to treat God's temple right with good-for-me food and physical activity. In addition, I'm studying International Development and have a passion for humanity and this vast Earth we live in. I want to help make positive change in the darkest places, to learn more about how to tackle the real challenges the world faces. Hunger. Corruption. Prostitution. Violence. Poverty. God-lessness. So I'm sure there will be posts about that too. 

Have a wonderful Holiday Season, I hope you get to enjoy time with your Heavenly Father who is crazy about you and waiting for you to be still so he can tell you himself. :)

In His continual grace,

Meg

what really matters?

As I'm sitting at my desk trying to decide what to spend my time doing, I wonder: what is life truly all about? What brings joy, success, peace, and contentment? I am an 18 year old girl, in the process of discovering who I am and what I want to do with my life, what God has planned for my future. There are so many questions, so many major decisions to make that leave me anxious when I lean on my own understanding. I'm realizing that at the root of all the things I am pursuing and longing for, is love. I want to be loved, respected, admired, pursued. This is what drives me to excel in school, constantly improve my exterior and interior, and inwardly criticize my flaws. I somehow believe that imperfections result in being undeserving of love and goodness. That's why I need to look my best, be the best, achieve the most. And it's not even about being good, I compare my self to others and have such a strong competitive nature that I need to outperform others. This is not what Jesus taught, is it? I'm reading through the gospel of John and the way Jesus lived his life is truly one-of-a-kind and counter-cultural. He didn't live for the praise of others, but passionately expressed God's truths so that we may live a new life. What selflessness. He was content with living an ordinary life and never had anything to do with the worldly pursuits we chase after. It's ironic how in the process of Jesus living humbly, selflessly, and different from everyone else, he became the most famous, impacting, and blessed man to ever walk the Earth. I think the reason why this is so hard for us to fathom is that, at the time when making wise decisions, the momentary consequences seem to hold such gravity that prevent us from seeing long-run benefits. We lack perspective and humility to see that life is not all about getting what we desire, accumulating physical wealth, and being treated fairly. Jesus did not have physical wealth and was definitely not treated fairly, by any stretch. But now he is above all of us living in paradise! 

I guess the moral of these insights is that...the world does not revolve around little old me. So what if I don't attract attention from that guy? Or receive any Nobel prizes? Or have flawless skin? I want to imitate my role model who put himself last, and in turn was radiant, courageous, and the greatest romantic of all time. 

- meg.