who wants pearls? :)

I've been struggling with a certain aspect of my life for a while, and realized that there was one thing I need: surrender. Okay, it's about boys. Kind of. More about the future in general. I just turned 19 this month, am nearly halfway through university and the future seems to be more and more uncertain. Growing up, I never had to question what I was doing or how I was going to make a living - but now I wonder what plan God has for the not-so-far future: where He wants me to live, what He wants me to be doing, how I will make a living, what man He has destined for me (if any). It's pretty exciting but scary stuff - this is real life we're talking about! My heart screams: "I don't want to mess this up!", while my soul shouts back: "TRUST GOD, it'll be okay!". :P

I found this daily hope blurb about surrender which I found helpful in defining surrender:

Surrender: Let Go and Let God Work, By: Rick Warren "Surrender yourself to the Lord, and wait patiently for him." Psalm 37:7 (GWT) Surrendering your life means: Following God's lead without knowing where he's sending you; Waiting for God's timing without knowing when it will come; Expecting a miracle without knowing how God will provide; Trusting God's purpose without understanding the circumstances. You know you're surrendered to God when you rely on God to work things out instead of trying to manipulate others, force your agenda, and control the situation. You let go and let God work. You don't have to always be in charge. Instead of trying harder, you trust more. You know you haven't fully surrendered something to God when you dwell on the situation to the point of being stressed, anxious, afraid, and without hope whenever you think about it. The truth is, a lot of times, when I am controlling a situation and not letting go, nothing changes. God seems to allow the struggle to persist until I come to him humbly and fully surrender it - getting on my knees, opening up about all of my thoughts, fears, feelings, and giving him the reins. It's funny how fast things change and He works things out when I let go. Makes me wonder why I didn't go to Him earlier. But this kind of surrender is something I need to continue on a daily basis, because Satan will not let us escape that easily - we need to continually entrust our hopes, dreams and problems with God - like putting our money in a safe bank so that it's not lying around where a thief will steal it. Reminds me of what Jesus said according to John: "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." - John 10:10 Do you really believe that Jesus is with you? And that he wants to give you an amazing life, in every aspect? Because he does!! :) When I think about the fact that God created my inmost thoughts and desires, knows the hearts of every person on the planet, and knows the future - I'm wondering why I don't trust Him to know the perfect fit for my life - the right guy, job, school, decision, etc. How could I think that I, with my extremely limited, emotionally-swayed perspective, know best? "I know you seem to be leading me this way, but I know God that I won't like this!"  "This brother? Really? God, not him!"  "Am I ever going to find someone or am I going to have to watch all my friends start dating and getting married while I'm forever alone?" "I really want to do this God, but it conflicts with what you teach me. I want it so badly! It can't be that bad..."

"You tell me to follow Jesus and to have no part of the world. You tell me that if I put you first, you will bless me much more and work everything out. But you don't understand what I'm going through! I want to stay in my comfort zone and enjoy being like everyone else in the world, I'm not strong enough."

All of these thoughts I can entertain. And I'm sure I'm not alone. But ultimately, these thoughts are telling God that he is a liar. That I have greater knowledge and ability than my Creator. And all my thoughts are focused on me, instead of God's incredible strength and wisdom. Not being content with the countless ways my Lord is blessing me, but focusing on the few things I don't have. God loves us so much and wants the absolute best for us! 

To conclude, here is a perfect illustration of what it means to surrender: a beautiful story every girl needs to read :)

The Pearl Necklace

The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

"Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!"

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

"A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents.

On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere--Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?"

"Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess--the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite."

"That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss.

About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?"

"Daddy, you know I love you."

"Then give me your pearls."

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my babydoll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver,she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you."

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dollar store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny.

He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dollar store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

What are you hanging on to?

Let's spend time meditating on how incredible our Lord is and how He has shown us His love and guidance over the years. Use these findings to help build your faith to surrender and trust in God's plan for the things you are currently struggling with - whether it be a family problem, uncertainty of what to do school or career-wise, a relationship, insecurities about your self-worth, or fears about the future in general. Jesus wants to take your heavy burdens from you and make you light and joyful. :)

Your fellow sister,

meg.